I am amazed at the idea that you can miss someone you've never met. I don't know how it is even possible, but I really miss my daughter today. I do every day, but today I just missed her to the point of tears. Kampala, Uganda is 8 hours ahead of us here in Greenville, so I was constantly calculating what the orphanage might be doing. With a biological child, you know from the moment of conception everything they are doing. With Joseph, I read so many books and knew the stage of development of every week of the pregnancy. With Charlotte, I grieve the moments I am missing, but have perfect peace that God is holding her even while I can't.
I love the fact that I get to hear Pastor Rob speak on Wednesday nights during choir practice, Sunday mornings for sermons, and also as my Sunday School teacher. God knows that it takes me a few times of hearing something before it gets through. It gives me a few days to ponder on the Scripture, and also hear a message a couple of different ways. This week, Rob spoke on John chapter 6, the feeding of the 5,000 using a little boy's snack. Other than the Resurrection, it is the only miracle recorded in each of the Gospels. His focus this week, however, has not been on the miracle itself, but on the perspective the disciples had on the obstacle before them. Philip, when asked by Jesus how to feed all the multitude, gives the practical answer that eight months wages would not feed them all. Jesus already knew how He would provide, but asked Philip to test him.
Well, I've had a few days to marinate on this Scripture. Jesus wanted to use the opportunity to teach His disciples that God is in control. It is a matter of perspective. Would the disciples be discouraged by the obstacle or glorify God for taking care of the obstacle?
So...my lesson...this adoption will cost eight months of my wages, so I see how overwhelming that amount is. But, am I going to be hung up on the enormity of the cost, or will I praise Him for the provision He hasn't shown yet? He already knows how He is going to make our miracle, he is simply asking me to trust Him with what I have (my loaves and little fishes) and I get the privilege of watching Him multiply it! Jesus asked Philip for a solution, when He already knew the outcome. Just as He knew how He would feed the multitude, He also knows how He will bring our daughter home.
I get to obey, knowing that God is in control of the large and small details. And when my daughter is home with her forever family, I get to share the story of His provision and faithfulness. I can think of no greater honor than to be a part of His plan!
